But I bet he wish he had. I can't wait to read his tweets this morning.
1
Goose: Cooked
A confession letter written by Joel Greenberg in the final months of the Trump presidency claims that he and close associate Rep. Matt Gaetz paid for sex with multiple women—as well as a girl who was 17 at the time.
“On more than one occasion, this individual was involved in sexual activities with several of the other girls, the congressman from Florida’s 1st Congressional District and myself,” Greenberg wrote in reference to the 17-year-old.
The Daily Beast
That's what Matt Gaetz's partner in crime, Joel Greenberg, wrote to Roger Stone, pleading for a pre-emptive presidential pardon from PhatBoi.
WOMP WOMP
He's also being investigated for corruption: Marijuana Gaetz.
Prison won't be kind to Matt Gaetz.
2
Americans renouncing citizenship lowest in nearly a decade.
228 Americans gave up their citizenship in the first 3 months of 2021, compared to 2,909 in the first 3 months of 2020 – a 92% decrease.
- 6,705 Americans in total gave up their citizenship in 2020
- 2020 is the highest year on record; the previous record was 5,411 cases in 2016
- 2021 is on course to be the lowest year since 2013
Source: Bambridge Accountants
I wonder why. (No, I don't.)
3
Religious festival stampede in Israel kills 45, hurts dozens.
JERUSALEM (AP) — A stampede at a religious festival attended by tens of thousands of ultra-Orthodox Jews in northern Israel killed at least 45 people and injured about 150 early Friday, medical officials said. It was one of the country’s deadliest civilian disasters.
The stampede began when large numbers of people thronged a narrow tunnel-like passage during the event, according to witnesses and video footage. People began falling on top of each other near the end of the walkway, as they descended slippery metal stairs, witnesses said.
AP
4
This could be a game-changer.
Apple is going to court with Fortnite, and it could forever change how apps work
Apple is set to take the stand Monday in a landmark trial that could alter the business model of the country’s most valuable company and serve as a catalyst for new antitrust laws.
Apple is being sued by Epic, the maker of the popular video game Fortnite, fo rallegedly using its control of its mobile operating system to stymie competition. Apple kicked Fortnite off the App Store last year after the video game maker offered an alternative payment option to its customers, bypassing the mandatory 30 percent commission charged by Apple.
Up for debate is how Apple allows apps to function on iPhones. The only way to install software on Apple’s mobile operating system, called iOS, is through the company’s App Store. Developers who make software for iOS must follow Apple’s rules and use its payment system, which charges a commission on every sale.
Washington Post
5
I shit you not. I am NOT making this up. (But I kinda wish I had.)
There's a new cryptocurrency called CumRocket.
Perhaps the world’s 1st NSFW cryptocurrency, this female-led coin is known as “CUMMIES.” The coin has rocketed itself to a market cap of $100m+ and can be used on Degenerate Money to purchase various adult content including NSFW NFTs.
Coinmarketcap
If you want to have some naughty fun with tremendous upside potential, you may want to take a closer look 👀 at CumRocket.
It's under 2 cents a pop. It's up 74 percent today.
6
No news is good news.
Since Joe Biden became President, the news cycle has reverted to the mean.
Thanks, President Biden. I haven't felt this good in 1,561 days.
This Morning Sixpack was going to be filled with light beer. I'm tired. It's Friday. Have a great weekend!
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